We're here to help you not be that person. You know, the one that's the basis for all those passive-aggressive sticky notes around the office kitchen? Every office seems to have one. For proper office-kitchen etiquette, we strongly advise you to never do these eight things:
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1. Microwave Leftover Fish
There's a reason people don't use the word "fishy" with a positive connotation. I'll stop when drumming on my desk when you stop stinking up the whole office with your salmon, Linda.
2. Burn Popcorn
Speaking of smells that are ruining my work flow, please, just stop the microwave before the popcorn bag turns black. It's not that hard.
3. Make Anything Requiring a Blender
People are trying to get work done; a cacophony of noises coming from the kitchen doesn't help.
4. Go on a Solo Take-Out Run
How dare you go out for take-out and not ask other people's orders? Do you expect to actually enjoy that delicious pizza you picked up while your co-workers are glaring from a distance, choking down their miserable PB+Js? Not cool, man.
5. Flaunt Your Free-Range, Organic, Paleo, Vegan, Soy-Free, Taste-Free Lunch
Cause no one needs that negativity in their life. And yuck.
6. Brush Your Teeth
While nobody likes you breathing down their neck with coffee breath, there's an office bathroom for a reason.
7. Steal Someone's Food
If you take a seltzer out of the staff fridge that doesn't have your name on it, you better be prepared to go to war.
8. Make a Huge Mess
We don't pay you to make things worse, Gary! The least you could do is clean up after yourself.